Love will keep us together — if we listen to Jesus

If you’re of a certain age, you probably remember Captain and Tennille — a married duo with a ridiculously catchy hit that topped the charts and won a Grammy. "Love Will Keep Us Together" made forever feel effortless. For the younger crowd, click the link for a glimpse of how music used to sound — and how optimism used to look.

They don’t make songs like that anymore.

There is a forever love — and it really does hold us together. And it’s summed up in three simple words.

And as it turns out, they don’t make love like that either. Love didn’t actually keep Captain and Tennille together. They divorced in 2014 after almost four decades, reminding us that the world’s idea of lasting love is fragile, conditional, and almost always temporary.

So ... happy Valentine’s?

Well, scripture offers something entirely different. There is a forever love — and it really does hold us together. And it’s summed up in three simple words:

Love one another.

That’s it. It sounds easy. But it isn’t — because we are saints who still sin. And when we turn inward, even subtly, we fail to love one another the way Christ commands. So let’s unpack what He actually meant.

Love your neighbor vs. love one another

So how does “love one another” differ from “love your neighbor”?

We tend to think of a neighbor as someone who lives nearby. But Jesus was asked that exact question and answered it with the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). From His explanation, we learn that a neighbor is anyone in need who crosses our path. Loving our neighbor, then, is about how we treat those who are not yet part of God’s family.

But “one another” means something more specific.

Throughout the New Testament, “one another” almost always refers to fellow believers — our brothers and sisters in Christ. Practically speaking, one another is your church family. Which is one of many reasons you need a church family.

What 'love one another' actually looks like

The New Testament gives us roughly 50 instructions for how we are to treat one another — commands that spell out what love looks like in real life. Someone helpfully compiled them all in one place, and it’s worth reading through carefully.

Not surprisingly, the most frequently repeated command in that list is this one: love one another.

And when we wonder how to do that — especially when some people are genuinely hard to love — the answer is found in the rest of the list. Things like:

• Serve one another
• Forgive one another
• Encourage one another
• Pray for one another

These aren’t abstract ideals. They’re concrete actions. And as we prayerfully consider them, the Holy Spirit may well bring specific people to mind.

Or consider this, from Romans 12:

“Let love be without hypocrisy — by abhorring what is evil, clinging to what is good, being devoted to one another in brotherly love, giving preference to one another in honor ... contributing to the needs of the saints, pursuing hospitality” (Romans 12:9-13).

That’s a lot of practical instruction packed into a few verses. And hospitality, in particular, is an area where most of us fall woefully short.

This kind of love doesn’t stay theoretical. It shows up in schedules, homes, meals, and patience.

Why Jesus called this command 'new'

In John 13:34, Jesus says something that can sound puzzling at first:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another.”

After all, the people of the Old Testament had always been called to love. The Law itself was built on loving God and loving others. So what was different?

“... even as I have loved you.”

That’s the new part.

Jesus didn’t just tell the disciples what to do — He showed them how to do it. For three years, He walked with them, served them, corrected them, bore with them, and loved them patiently.

And then — immediately after washing their feet, including Judas’ — He issued this new command, on the eve of His betrayal and death.

Love like I do.

The cost — and the witness

This is a staggering standard. And we can only love this way to the extent that we understand how deeply we ourselves are loved.

When we daily enter His presence, absorb His Word, and receive His love, something changes. Only then are we able to love one another in a way that looks unmistakably different to the world.

Which is exactly the point.

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

Before the world sees our love for our neighbors, it must see our love for one another.

The hard reality

Let’s be honest: Some believers are hard to love. Annoying. Irritating. The kind of people you quietly hope won’t sit next to you.

And sometimes, we are those people.

None of us are easy to love all the time. So we depend on the Holy Spirit to produce the fruit that makes us both more loving and more lovable. As Hannah Williamson has observed, the exercise of working out how to love one another is a “gritty training ground for loving the wider world.”

In other words, loving one another helps train us to love our neighbors. But first — the lost must witness our love for one another.

So in obedience to our Lord, let’s draw closer to Him so we can fulfill this beautiful task He’s given us — to love one another better.

A love that will, in fact, keep us all together.

Saint Valentine would be proud.